


Color Me Terrified

by cloakoflevitation



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: M/M, Thor Is a Good Bro, Thor is Overprotective, Tony ships Thor/Bruce, more or less crack
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-21
Updated: 2018-07-21
Packaged: 2019-06-13 19:14:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 627
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15371448
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cloakoflevitation/pseuds/cloakoflevitation
Summary: Thor gets back from being in space with Bruce and confronts Tony about his newly developing relationship with Loki. Basically I really just wanted to write Thor being overprotective and teasing Tony about Loki.





	Color Me Terrified

When JARVIS informed him that Thor was in the elevator to see him, Tony winced internally. _Bet I know what this is about._  

Thor greeted him with a huge smile and a crushing hug. “It has been far too long, my friend.”

He waved him off, returning to his seat on the sofa. “Yeah, well, that’s what happens when you’re off in space for months. You don’t write, you don’t call.”

Thor merely continued to grin. “You will forgive me, of course. ‘Space’ has kept me busy.”

“Bruce seemed like he enjoyed his time, you know, out there. With you.”

Thor’s grin stretched a bit wider at the comment, and Tony swore he saw a blush on his cheeks.

“Did he?” Thor asked faintly, before shaking his head slightly, growing more serious. “I heard you and my brother have become… familiar.”

Tony forced a tight smile. He really didn't have it in him at the moment to go a few rounds with Thor.  _Please be okay with this._ “Yeah, we’re together now.”

Thor nodded, and leaned forwards, looking exactly like Tony imagined Rhodey did when he sat down with Loki to have the shovel talk. “I have come to tell you –”

“You’ll rip me limb from limb if I hurt him?” He interrupted, an eyebrow raised.

Thor outright laughed at that, long and hard. “Oh no,” he managed to get out between bouts of laughter. “You mortals…” He shook his head, straightening himself, the mirth leaving his face. “No, no, my brother is far more than capable of taking care of himself. If you hurt him, it is _him_ that you must worry about. Ripping you limb from limb, as you say, would likely be a mercy compared to whatever he would do to you in his rage.”

Tony swallowed. “Oh. Awesome.”

Thor’s grin grew slightly darker, more feral, and suddenly, Tony could see the family resemblance that Loki swore wasn’t there. “Although, when my brother is finished with you, I would journey to Niflheim to retrieve your damned soul, revive you, and then break your body once more.” He looked intently at Tony, unwavering, “ _Slowly_. And I would take immense joy in doing so.”

Tony licked his lips nervously, taking a deep breath. “Wow okay so this is what god level shovel talk sounds like. I’ve always wondered. Color me terrified." 

Thor chuckled, and lightened up immediately, as if he was never threatening fates worse than death. “I am sure, of course, no such action will be required. You are a fine man, and clearly worthy of my brother seeing how he has chosen you.”

It felt as though his head was spinning. “Right,” he agreed weakly.

Thor looked thoughtful. “What was it you said when first we met?” He looked away for a moment, and then realization dawned on him, and he smiled. “Ah! ‘Do not take my stuff.’ ”

“Don’t,” Tony absently corrected him. _Damn aliens. Damn contractions._

“Hmm,” Thor hummed, disinterested. “Amusing how it has grown to mean something new altogether now.” He looked towards Tony, and when he failed to respond, started to explain, “Because we were all on opposing sides at the time, and you were attempting to take him into your custody but now Loki courts you and –”

“Yeah, I get it, buddy. The meaning changed, I can follow that.” He rolled his eyes, but the gesture lost some of its dramatic flair when Thor smiled at him, amused but patronizing.

“It seems that time was long ago now…” Thor continued and shook his head fondly, and then he winked, actually _winked_ , nearly giving Tony a heart attack. “I shall recount that story at the wedding." 

Tony choked on entirely nothing at all, managing to gasp between two coughs, “The _what_?”

**Author's Note:**

> This is not the story I intended to post tonight but whatever. Life happens.


End file.
